A CT mom had her son call to say he was vomiting blood. Keeping faith and doctors happened next

Hartford Courant – Thursday, May 21, 2026
By Emily M. Olson

The Rev. Josh Wilbur, a priest who serves St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Oxford, has a message for people considering becoming a living liver donor.

He’s looking for a donor for himself, since he became gravely ill last year. Wilbur has an autoimmune disorder that is causing his liver to fail.

A living donor is his best option, he said. Through Yale New Haven Hospital, he’s awaiting a match.

“I’d like people to know that there’s a need (for living donors), and it’s something that, if a person is a match to someone who needs a liver, it can be done,” Wilbur said, during an interview at the parish house at St. Thomas.

In other words, a person in need of a new liver doesn’t have to wait for someone with a healthy one to die. A living person with a healthy liver who matches the potential recipient can give part of their own.

The liver, Wilbur said, is an organ that regenerates, meaning that if a donor gives their liver or a portion of it, theirs will grow back, and the recipient’s regenerates too, he said.

“I don’t think that’s commonly known,” he said. “There are people who are waiting, who don’t know that.”

On Aug. 11, 2025, Wilbur called his mother Kym as he was driving himself to Griffin Hospital in Derby. He felt sick and was vomiting blood.

“When I got there, they ran tests and that was the first time a liver transplant was mentioned,” Wilbur said. “They sent me to Yale New Haven Hospital for further care, and I’ve been going there ever since.

“I’m doing OK,” he said. “Yale has a fantastic care center for liver and kidney disorders; they’re the top in the country. We’re so fortunate to have Yale here.

“I’m in a place where I’m stable,” he said. “I take about 15 pills a day to maintain my health. Fatigue is the biggest thing. I have to pace myself. I have a very specific diet to follow.”

According to Wilbur, more than 100,000 people are waiting for living donors. Yale New Haven Hospital surgeons performed 186 organ transplants in 2025.

“They’ve helped so many people,” he said. “I feel like I’m a voice for the voiceless, people who are suffering and don’t know that they can get help. They’re not connected like I am.”

Healthy, compatible donors give a portion of their liver to the recipient.

Yale New Haven’s living donor program states that “anyone age 21 to 55 can be considered for living liver donation at our center. On rare occasions we will consider persons age 18 to 20 or 56 to 60; however, these are usually special circumstances. Donors do not need to be related. It is becoming common for unrelated people to come forward and donate a portion of their liver to someone in need.”

Potential donors are tested extensively “to assure compatibility. Important considerations are blood type, liver size, and the anatomy of the bile ducts, arteries and veins in the liver,” according to the hospital’s website.

“Most donors will stay in the hospital four to six days and then are discharged home. Individuals differ in recovery time; we recommend allowing yourself six to eight weeks minimum, potentially 12 weeks after surgery to recover fully and return to work,” according to the website. “The liver begins to regenerate almost immediately, with most of the regeneration occurring in the first two weeks after surgery. The expectation is that by eight weeks after surgery your liver will be back to normal or near normal size.”

Since his condition became known to the church Oxford community, the word has spread, and member of St. Thomas the Apostle and other Catholic churches, such as St. John Paul the Great in Torrington, have reached out to find a donor for “Father Josh,” as he’s known.

The priest, who is 45, grew up in Goshen with his parents, John and Kym Wilbur; he played clarinet at the former Wamogo Regional High School in Litchfield, and studied music education at the Hartt School.

After graduation, he taught music to elementary school students, and in 2012 entered St. John’s Seminary in Boston. In 2018, he was ordained for the Archdiocese of Hartford at the Cathedral of St. Joseph.

After that, he served at Annunciation Parish in Newington, Our Lady of Knock in Farmington and Unionville, and now resides and serves at St. Thomas the Apostle in Oxford.

Through his ministry, he has made it his purpose to help people navigate life’s most meaningful moments – offering guidance, presence, and faith when and where it mattered most, he said.

Susan Cook, a member of St. John Paul the Great, is advocating to help Wilbur find a donor.

“I first met Fr. Josh when he was a seminarian, mentored by Msgr. Robert Tucker … During that time, he had the opportunity to accompany (Tucker) on funerals for families we served. From my very first interactions, I was struck by his genuine character, kindness, and deep desire to serve the Lord,” said Cook.

“Following his ordination, Fr. Josh was assigned to Unionville and later to his current parish in Oxford. In my observation, he has fully embraced Msgr. Tucker’s guiding motto: ‘Love the people, and they will love you back.’ Father Josh is loved and respected,” she said.

“It would be a profound blessing if someone were to come forward to provide this extraordinary gift to this devoted servant of the Lord,” Cook said.

Wilbur’s parents are also hopeful that their son will find a living donor soon. Kym Wilbur said she remembered the day her son contacted her to say he was sick.

“In August of last year, I was leaving for Maine and decided to wait a day, and I’m so grateful I didn’t go,” she said.

“It’s eight hours away. Josh said he was on his way to the ER because he was vomiting blood, but don’t bother coming,” she said. “I was on my way down (to the hospital) while he was still talking to me.

“I (have been) with him throughout this whole thing,” Kym Wilbur said. “In February he had a procedure done that alleviates some of the symptoms that were keeping him from living … he was existing, and it seemed like we were in the hospital every week.”

Kym Wilbur has been by her son’s side every day, and says the family is in a waiting period now.

“He was deathly ill (last summer), and he’s still very ill,” she said. “But he lets me know he’s ok. I have faith in God. I know he’ll get a donor. We just have to wait.”

Time is flying by, since that critical day in 2025. Wilbur has been on the donor list since March. Without the procedure, doctors estimate he has one or two years left to live.

But Wilbur remains optimistic, and so does his family and the communities he serves.

“I’m so blessed, to have so many people out there helping,” he said.

His mother said her son remains positive.

“He’s a human being, and he hasn’t complained one bit,” she said. “He has such a great attitude.

“It’s been amazing, the outpouring of support for Josh,” she said. “There are more good people in this world, who have compassion and want to help. The world’s not all bad.”

To learn more about becoming a living donor, call Yale New Haven Health at 866-925-3897, or visit frjoshwilbur.com

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